


We've Done This Dance A Thousand Times

by CoffeesForFuckers



Series: Gay Boys Doing Some Gay Shit [6]
Category: All Time Low
Genre: Adorable, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff, Jalex - Freeform, M/M, Sweet, admitting love, chapstick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 05:37:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11155356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeesForFuckers/pseuds/CoffeesForFuckers
Summary: The way that Jack makes Alex feel isn't something that a best friend should feel towards their best friend but that doesn't stop his hear from pounding and his mouth from saying things it shouldn't.





	We've Done This Dance A Thousand Times

I watched the trees flashing by, disappearing into the distance. Rian was driving them home in the gloom of the evening, it felt like it was midnight when in reality it was only about nine-thirty. 

Signs whipped by the car as it sped down the highway. Even though the sky was dark, it looked so beautiful, it faded from dark blue - almost black - to a light green/blue off in the horizon, bright stars sparkled above, reminding me of Jack's gorgeous honey-yellow/brown eyes that were so bright they almost glowed. 

My eyes fell from the sky down to my lap where he had his head rested, fast asleep after the long day they'd had.

I let out a soft breath as I ran my fingers through his brown and red-splashed hair. Jack was so perfect, he looked amazing always, even when he was fast asleep. 

He muttered something incoherent, feeling around until he grabbed onto my sweater, pulling at it, trying to hug it into him. I smiled and gave my arm to him, which he hugged tightly against himself. 

Zach turned around to glance back at the two of us in the back, his brow scrunched in confusion as he saw the scene.

"What the-"

"Shhhhh... Don't wake him." I hush, I wanted to stay like this for as long as possible. I could feel my heart racing just from his touch. He made me so happy.   
Zach shrugged, turning back around, mumbling to Rian about something that I could care less about. 

I continued to play with Jack's hair subconsciously as I stared off into the distance, watching car’s headlights and breaklights faze past the car, the streaks on the windshield causing the lights to ripple like water against it. Cars weaved in and out of the traffic.

As I watched all the little details of the outside world, I could feel my eyes growing heavy. My head swayed sleepily and I yawned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I could feel myself drifting between consciousness and sleep. 

***

I noticed I must've dozed off, I wasn't sure for how long. But either way, now it was raining heavily and the music coming from my headphones was different, whatever song it was, was really good, I bobbed my head to the beat tiredly.

I then realize my arm was going numb and my fingers were still wrapped in Jack’s surprisingly soft hair when he started to stur. I, of course, pulled my hand back from his head and he soon propped himself up a bit, confused for a moment before dropping back to my lap. 

I watched him affectionately, his head turning to look up at me, his eyes shone through the dark, looking up at me and smiling.

"Thanks for letting me use your lap." He chuckled, "Mind if I use it a bit longer?" He asked, half joking and half serious.

"You can stay." I smiled with eyes half-lidded, yawning for the hundredth time.

"Looks like you're the one needing  _ my  _ lap, huh?" He laughed softly and I chuckled as well. 

"I'll be fine." I dismissed.

"Alright, just let me know if you're getting tired then." He replied sweetly. 

Not even five minutes passed before I was nodding off again. 

I felt my lap grow cold suddenly and my body being shifted to lay down, my head going into Jack’s lap. 

"No, I'm fine." I slurred, sleep laced in my words.

"Don't worry, take a nap, we should be there soon." He smiled, running his fingers through my hair, twirling it over his fingers absentmindedly. I hummed a soft, barely audible, ‘ _ thank you’  _ and drifted off to sleep.

***

I awake a bit dazed letting out a squeaky-yawn as I sit up, shivering even though I wasn’t cold. I stretch my hands up over my head but they hit the roof of the car, I groan, my whole body was cramping from sitting here so long. Road Tripping so far from Maryland was probably stupid just to go to a concert. We were not going to regret it though. 

I hear Jack groan, stretching himself. He tosses his legs onto my lap and I groan, “Ugh, move.” I grunt and he shakes his head at me, his fluffy hair shaking everywhere in a messy wave. I huff and move his legs and place my legs up like his, tangling both of ours together. Jack chuckles as my skin tingles from his touch. His feet tap against my sides and mine press against the wall he was leaned against. He’s sat weird, his legs bent in an awkward way that seems like it would be horrendiously uncomfortable but Jack doesn’t seem to mind. He squeezes my calves in his hands as he stares into oblivion, he looks absolutly exhausted. It was still dark out, only midnight. Zach and Rian had switched places, they didn’t want us driving because they ‘ _ didn’t want to die _ ’ or whatever.

I tap my finger against Jack’s forehead and his head snaps to look up at me, humming as to ask what I wanted.

“Go to sleep, you’re fighting it.” I tell him placing my hand on his to stop his squeezing.

Jack yawns, “I’m not even tired.” 

“Yeah okay.” I laugh and he smiles sleepily back. I grab a pillow from the back and toss it at him. He places it behind his head and slides down a bit in the seat, his knees now upright and against the seat.

“This is your pillow.” He croons, his eyes fluttering slightly as they were gently closed. 

“How do you know?” I can’t help but to ask.

“Smells like you.” Jack purrs, yawning only once more before his breathing steadied and the corners of his mouth relaxed and drooped slightly. I draw little shapes on his skin with my fingers absentmindedly, my mind wandering away with thoughts of color and lust.

Rian glances back at me, turning in his seat. He frowns, seeing me so distant and obviously deeply troubled, “You’re in love with him.” Rian states softly.

I don’t even look at him, reacting with only a nod. Rian sighs at me, I know I’m an idiot, I didn’t even have to hear him say so, “Tell him.”

“It’s not that simple.” My voice flows with no emotion and no feeling, robotic, dry, monotone.

“It is though. Everybody can see it, ‘Lex.” Rian speaks but it runs right through me, his words hitting me and tumbling off like rain on the windshield.

I shake my head and drop my hands to my lap. Rian gives me one of those half-frown half-smile things that I hate. I wouldn’t ruin the friendship I had with Jack for a stupid want, I’d get over it.

“Don’t overthink it is all I’m asking.” Rian says and turns back to the front and slumping in his seat tiredly.

I lean my head back and place my earbuds in, my fingers returning to drawing shapes on Jack sleepily. I can’t sleep though, exhaustion stabbing at me but my mind running wild. Jack moans in his sleep and my whole body tenses. Everything about Jack was my kink. I was definitely in love with him but I could settle for this if it meant I never lost him.

My mind drifts and my body relaxes and I’m asleep with that thought.

***

I’m awoken by Jack who is nudging me. I groan as I sit up a bit and stretch my legs.

“Yeah?” I groan, rubbing my eyes and yawning.

“I have to pee and Rian and Zach are asleep, come with me.” He whispers.

“What?” I think that was the most fucked up thing to possibly hear when you’re still dazed with sleep and struggling to figure out what the hell was happening.

“We pulled over into one of those off the highway rest stops and theres no bathroom. Please come with me so I can piss in the woods.” He begs and I let out a huff.

“Fine.” We both exit the car and I’m slow, stumbling over my tingly, aching legs. Jack grabs my arm and pulls me faster, I almost fall, stumbling and catching myself last minute. He hurries me, dragging me probably about five to ten feet into the woods. I can tell he’s nervous, I mean, who wouldn’t be, so many people get killed or stabbed doing this, not to mention the kidnappings.

He pisses behind a tree but makes me stay so close that I can see his dick. I don’t really care as it’s nothing new. He takes forever, I couldn’t blame him as we were in the car for such a long time.

Now I had to pee.

“Let’s go.” Jack grabs my arm after zipping his pants.

“No, I gotta piss now.” I say as I do the same as him. Jack is jumpy and dying to get out of the woods. He’s tugging at my arm as a way to tell me to hurry up.

Once finished, Jack pulls me along quickly towards the car only to find it not there. We slow and it takes a moment to sink in.

“No-... They-... No.” Jack stammers.

“All of our stuff is in there.” I say in disbelief.

“They left us!” He shouts, “What the hell is wrong with them!?” He sounds pissed and absolutely horrified. It would take forever for them to get back once they noticed us gone, as we were at a highway rest stop.

Jack dropped to sit on the ground, placing his head in his knees. I crouch next to him, placing a hand to his back.

“They'll come back, don't worry, Jack.” I say, feeling bad.

“Who knows when that'll be and most importantly, who the fuck knows if we'll even be here, let alone alive by then, Lex?” He mumbles into his knees.

I pull him into a hug to comfort him, stroking his hair softly. I feel him lean against me, gripping my shirt within his fist, he pushes his face into my chest. My hands start to shake and my heat pounds. 

“Hey, ‘Lex…?” I nod, “Can I admit something?”

“Yeah, shoot.” I say.

“I’m petrified. Like… I’m so scared.” He admits and I squeeze him tighter.

“Can I admit… Admit something too?” I stutter, second thoughts rolling through my head and tying my vocal cords into knots.

“Yeah.” He mumbles, nodding against me.

“Uh… I’ve fallen in love with you.” I hum, my voice shaky as I speak. Jack lifts his head from my chest but stays in my arms, looking at me with a wide-eyed disbelief.

“What?” He gasps, “When? For how long?”

“I fell in love with you that night in the back seat of my mom's car, you were laid on top of me basically. I looked up at you and I was hooked. The way the blue light from the radio tinted your pale skin and the flickers of the light from the street lamps outside laid against you, you looked so... perfect. That's when I realised I loved you.” I mumble.

“How long ago was that?” He asks causing my anxiety to get even worse.

“Se- uh… S-Seven years?” I stammer, “I-... I don’t know…”

“Wow…” I feel a knot in the pit of stomach, my heart sinking. I knew where this was going.

“Fuck… I made it awkward, I shouldn’t have said anything…” I mumble and kind of shift away from Jack.

“No, no… It’s… Okay.” He sighs, “I just… I have a girlfriend, ‘Lex.” That’s when I remember the reason I’ve held back all this time, Tay. Jack has had an on-again off-again relationship with a girl named Tay for as long as I can remember.

“I know… I’m sorry… It just felt right.”

That’s when Rian and Zach returned.

***

The whole week at this concert/festival-like thing was miserable, Tay was there the whole time, I eventually just stopped being around all of them in general. It still was pretty sad of me.

I’m staying in a room with Rian, Zach’s alone and Jack’s with Tay… Rian’s laid out on the bed next to mine.

"I've never been truly jealous, not ever in my life.” I say and Rian glances over at me, “ I may have envied others and such but never once did I ever feel jealousy until I fell in love with him. She still clawed at his heart while I rushed to bandage what was left.” I lick my lips, pausing, “I know that if she wanted him then she could easily steal him with a single glace If I ever had him. For once my overthinking is true and right and I know it. She's the only one that I've ever been jealous of." I sigh and so does Rian.

“If you don’t tell him then yeah…”

“I did. When you  _ abandoned _ us.” I mutter.

“Oh… Him and Tay will break up eventually.” He says as though my heart wasn’t crumbled to fucking pieces.

I huff and pull the blankets back over my head, I was fucked.

***

Being home was nice. Jack and I were hanging out, both of us exhaused from staying up all night and binge-watching the entirety of BroadChurch together on the website Rabbit. We were laying together, his face tipped on the side as he laid on his back, I laid on my stomach, my face turned to face Jack’s, we’d been like this for a long time. It hurt to lay like this, he was so amazing, I just wanted to call him my own.

“Fuck!” He gasps, sitting upright and checking his phone, “Mom’s gonna kill me! I need to go, family dinner. I’ll call you later!” He ruffles my hair and hops off my bed, grabbing his shoes and sliding them on. 

“Bye!” I frown. I didn’t want him to go but I knew he had to go. I grab my phone from the nightstand and message Rian.

**_We were laying together today, our noses touching and he looked into my eyes and smiled. I felt my heart pound and my eyes fill with tears as I wanted to kiss him but I knew I couldn't because he's not mine._ **

**_It reminded me of the day I fell in love with him._ **

Rian messaged me back telling me he was sorry and that it would be okay, you know, all that bullshit. I hug my pillow into my chest. I can’t stop feeling this way, why can’t I stop feeling so bad? It hurts so much that I constantly feel sick. Lovesick really was a feeling and it was awful.

***

It was getting late and I was still up. I couldn’t sleep lately, just like I couldn’t eat or do much of anything at all. I hear a tapping on my window followed by a loud clatter and a scream. I jump up and hurry to the window, pulling back the curtains to find Jack dangling on the ledge of my window.

“Help.” He whines, I notice the latter that must’ve tipped over on him laying on the ground below. 

I pull him inside where he proceeds to sit on the floor, panting and looking horrified, “You are so lucky my parents aren’t here.” I chuckle and he nods.

“Where are they?” He coughs at me.

“England, visiting family.” I shrug and lay on the floor next to him, he watched every move I made. I yawn and grab his shirt in my hand, not for any partictular reason, I just liked to be touching him.

“Oh.” He says after a bit, “Tay and I broke up.”

“You’ll be back together in a week.” I huff, why’d he have to tell me? 

“No, like, for good.” I hear him say, I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“You say that everytime.” I mutter, now I was in a bad mood.

“Well, this time I mean it. She’s pregnant.” He says with anger running his words dry. I sit bolt upright and look at him in shock.

“Jack! You can’t just leave her if you-”

“It’s not mine. It’s Max’s.” He snaps. Max was a really close friend of Jack’s, I felt pretty bad, “He’s staying with her.”

“Oh-... Jack, I-”

“No, it’s fine.” He inturrups and I nod, laying back down. It’s silent for a while before I get up and turn the lights on. Jack and I both wincing at the sudden light. Jack moves to my bed and I follow suit.

Jack flops back, laying down with his legs dangling down over the edge of my bed. I sigh and grab my chapstick from the bedside table. Being a singer I constantly carried them aound with me for my overly dry lips.

“Can I try it? I wanna have a taste,” Jack asks curiously as it was a new flavor. He sits up, looking at the tube in my hand. He liked to steal them from me as he also was an avid chapstick user himself.

“Sure, it’s coconut cream-” I start to reply, but before I can finish, Jack kisses me, pushing his mouth to mine for only a quick moment before pulling back, rubbing his lips together and doing that annoying ‘lip-popping’ sound girls like to do after putting on lipstick.

I’m shocked but Jack seems to not even be fazed by it, giving me a gentle smile, “Thank’s, ‘Lex. It’s good.” He hums. I try to choke out a reply but it’s just a random garble of noise, “What’s with you?” 

“Did you… You just-... I?” I stammer over my words and he let’s out a laugh.

“It’s just a kiss, nothing too special.” 

‘Nothing too special’? I’ve wanted this my whole life, what the fuck?

I swallow hard, “Well, yeah it is?” I croak, my voice wabbling.

“Nah, you’ll kiss a lot of people in life, it’s nothing too special, it get’s boring. Special are those moments that your heart swell with love for another person, where you’re just doing something you always do and you just suddenly are so overcome with this flooding in your chest and it feels like you’re just going to burst because you just want them so much and you love them more than words could ever discribe but you want those feelings to be discribeable but you just…  _ can’t.” _ He rambles on and on. Was this how he felt with Tay? This is how I felt with him all the time. Even now, even when I saw his dumb ass hanging from my window.

“Oh…” I croon. 

“Tay never made me feel that way.” I hear him sigh.

“Then how do you know how that feels, how can you describe that?” I ask, now intregued.

“Because I felt it before, not with her but with somebody else.” He says vaguely, laying back down on the bed like before.

“I feel that a lot. You make me feel like that. That’s how I always feel with you.” I say sadly, “Who made you feel that way?” I had to know.

“You, of course.” Jack looks over at me. I laugh, my heart sinking as I take it as a joke, “Seriously, ‘Lex. You really make me happy. I’m only me when I’m with you.” It takes a moment to sink in before My head shoots up, looking in his direction.

“Wait, for real?”

“Yes, Alex, jesus, you’re dumb sometimes.” He yawns as he pulls at my arms causing me to fall on top of him. His arms wrap around me and pull me more onto him. He kisses the corner of my mouth sloppily. His eyes are closed and he seems exhaused. I reach up and start playing with his somehow, very soft hair, twerling it around my fingers. Jack pushes me off of him and points towards the door, “Go turn the lights off.” He mumbles sleepily.

I groan and roll off the bed, going over to shut the lights off. Once I do I make my way back over to the bed where Jack tugs me into him again, he’s kissing at my neck and chest lazily. I could feel my heart almost beating out of my chest and Jack was grinning ever-so-slightly. I had never noticed how soft his mouth could be or how plump and sweet his lips were, not until they were all over me as he fought sleep, kissing me all over. I was wide-awake, my whole body trembling with energy.

He pulled me closer to him, his skin was so warm but I could only feel part of it agaisnt my bare chest, his shirt in the way of our skin touching. My whole body was tingling from the feeling of his hands and mouth, his fingers trailing lightly along my spine.

“Jack.” I hum and he stops his movements.

“Yeah?” He mumbles with his face pushed to my chest.

“Stop fighting sleep, we can do this anytime.” I say and he shakes his head weakly, I start to play with his smooth hair once again and he croons, pulling my closer to him. I tug my blanket over the two of us awkwardly, using the one that my mom liked to place on the end of my bed no matter how many times I took it off of there.

“I don’t want to sleep yet.” His voice is soft and scratchy, he kisses my skin again, taking some between his teeth lightly, “I want to stay up with you.” He speach is slurred and he almost sounds slightly drunk as sleep was starting to beat him. He clung onto me in a way he never had before, pushing his face more into me. I push my fingers through his hair, pulling at it soothingly, his fingers curl against my back and I grin. He uses all of his tired strength to stay awake but he still just can’t keep his eyes open. I start to sing to him in the softest voice I could muster when my chest was ready to explode. I know Jack won’t be able to keep up this little game for much longer once I start, his whole body relaxing against mine. 

I relax myself once hearing his gentle snoring. 

I hadn’t slept this well in years.


End file.
